So. Guess what has been in the news a whole lot lately, what with the whole North Carolina and Obama news? Gay marriage.
I’m just going to go on record here as saying, I have absolutely no problem with it whatsoever. There’s a lot of snarky quotes about gay marriage going around, and I’m going to sum up my views of the situation with one: “Being mad that someone’s (gay) marriage is against your religious beliefs is like being mad at someone who is eating cake because you’re on a diet.” I’m pretty sure I’m paraphrasing that, but you get the idea. Don’t like the idea of gay marriage? Don’t get married to another dude (or lady). And oh my god, the arguments about it destroying the sanctity of marriage when celebrities change spouses every couple of months… Kim Kardashian and Britney Spears have done more to destroy the sanctity of marriage than the entire gay community combined could ever hope to do. HERE, AMERICA. THIS IS WHAT GAY MARRIAGE IS DOING TO OUR COUNTRY:
Actually, I don’t think NPH and his boyfriend are officially married yet. But you know, OH MY GOD, THEY ARE GAY AND IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP AND RAISING TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN IN A LOVING ENVIRONMENT. HOW EARTH-SHATTERINGLY TERRIBLE.
I went to a private Christian (Seventh-Day Adventist) school from pre-school through seventh grade. I had a lot of religion crammed down my throat: a mandatory class every year, coupled with chapel on some-but-not-every-Friday and a few curious times of actually attending proper Sunday Saturday school and church services. As a result, I am really good at the Biblical categories on Jeopardy, and I learned that I’m not a huge fan of organized religion.
I have some great friends that are Christian, or some variant thereof. Their faith is something important to them, and the great majority of them are awesome, reasonable, non-bigoted people. I am totally cool with that. There are a lot of Christians, or people calling themselves such, that are vicious, hate-spewing people. I am not cool with that.
I think the main thing I took away from private school, with the exception of a strange affection for vegetarian hot dogs, is that a lot of people that call themselves Christians are, in fact, hypocritical jackasses. I spent a lot of time hearing about how Jesus is love and happiness and rainbows and cuddling sheep, how he loves everyone and forgives sinners and lepers and what-have-you, and wants everyone to go to heaven… unless you’re gay. In which case, you’re pretty much hopeless and going to burn in hell for all eternity.
Even to a kid in elementary school, that didn’t make a lot of sense.
I’ve had gay friends. They were just as awesome as my straight friends. They were people that worried about math tests, just like me, and were concerned about their clothes, just like me, and had crushes they agonized over, just like me. They were just guys blushing over guys, or ladies blushing over ladies, which really doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. Which is why knowing that people like this exist horrifies me in ways that I can’t adequately express in words:
There are a lot of things in America’s past that I’m embarrassed by. Slavery isn’t a great point in our past. Neither is segregation or racial prejudice. I sincerely hope that when we look back on this time in the future, we look back on it with the same amount of shame that I feel for a time when interracial marriages were banned. Because, as cliche as it sounds, we are all just people. White, black, Christian, atheist, straight, gay… whatever. Cut them open on an operating table, and everything looks pretty much the same.
…Unless you’ve got situs inversus or some other weird shit going on.
Despite the fact that I like vegetarian hot dogs, which most reasonable people abhor, I am not a vegetarian, or anything close to it. I’m the kind of person that piles meat on top of other meat. A filet mignon is made infinitely better by wrapping that sucker in bacon. Am I having a cheeseburger? Let’s add bacon to that, too. And a fried egg for good measure. I’m not a vegetarian, but I have no desire to pass legislation outlawing veggie burgers or tofurkey (as much as tofurkey creeps me out). Coincidentally, although I have no desire to marry another woman, I don’t see why women who do want to marry other women shouldn’t be able to.
I could list all the reasons why the arguments those against gay marriage use are wrong. Gay marriage ruining the sanctity of the marriage between a man and a woman? Oh, right, because celebrity marriages in Hollywood like Britney Spears’ three-day fling aren’t doing it. All the children being raised by gay parents will turn out gay themselves, further perpetuating the horror? Right, because straight parents never end up having gay children. Oh, some verse in Leviticus claims that man lying with man is an abomination? Well, just a few pages from that it also claims that blended fabrics are also wrong in the eyes of God, so you’d better toss that cotton-poly shirt you’ve been holding onto.
I think that America has taken steps to correct a lot of things over time. We no longer allow slavery. Women have the right to vote. Interracial marriages are legal. I can only hope that we’ll make every attempt to correct our country’s stance on same-sex marriages. Marriages that have, for the record, been legal in a number of international countries for awhile now, and have yet to herald rains of fire, seas of blood, or any other world-ending catastrophes.
I’m so incredibly proud that President Obama came forward and declared his support of same-sex marriages. I know that a lot of Republicans are crying that he’s only doing it for the vote in election year. Quite frankly, even if it is just for votes, I think it’s still a huge step forward in the right direction.
Martin Luther King, Jr. and many others died in the process of securing civil rights for African Americans. Matthew Shepard and Sean W. Kennedy and many others have died due to homosexual hate crimes. Can we please just get past all of this and stop hurting and killing people based on gender, race, sexual orientation, or any other factors like that? It’s horrible. It makes Baby Jesus cry. I mean, I’m an atheist, but I’m pretty sure if Jesus does exist and he’s out there, he’s shaking his head at us for missing the bigger picture.
Here’s some smart-assery from Wil Wheaton’s Tumblr I completely agree with:
So congratulations, North Carolina. Last night, you struck a decisive blow for loneliness. And tonight, as you go to sleep beside your heterosexual life mate, you can rest assured that all across your great state, a gay man or lesbian woman is crying themselves to sleep in solitude and making your relationship stronger with each tear.
-Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report
And anyways… I didn’t want to end on a negative note. Not all those people calling themselves Christian are prejudicial bigots. Here’s a beautiful video from Brigham Young University, telling LGBT students and others related to the university, “It gets better.”

























